Monday, January 29, 2007

Blink-Off 2007

Last fall I took a class in comedy writing for late night/variety shows and learned that Dave Letterman doesn't watch any of his competitors (Tonight Show, Kimmel, etc.). Leno keeps an eye on his competition to make sure he's not repeating jokes, but Letterman apparently doesn't care about what anybody else does. If he wants to do a certain joke on his show, it's going on the air, no matter what other hosts are doing it.

Now I also learned that most times you see a joke repeated it's a case of great minds thinking alike, not plagiarism. And I'm sure that all of the following shows came up with this same joke on the same night and had no way of knowing that the other shows were doing the same joke. But Letterman's set-up to his clip is awesome.




Friday, January 26, 2007

If Only I Was A Better Guitar Player/Gymnast

Monday, January 22, 2007

That's So Asian

Siamese twins joined at the tacky golden flower!Here is a wonderful gag gift. Give it to that thirsty friend in your life and watch his reaction as a charismatic frog hops out! Surprised!
Just make sure you give this surprised gift to someone who normally drinks "Spirit" lemon-lime soda or "Caixin Cola"! Also, do they know what "TOYS" means? Hopefully not. Oh, you're gonna get them good!
Make sure you unplug this before watering it!
Looks like Hello Kitty learned a few things from the Trojan War.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I Just Realized

I depend on Google far too much for spell checking, phrase checking, and fact checking. What would my old high school teachers think of me if they knew I'd satisfied my quest for knowledge by just looking at the results of the first Google page I find?
Thanks to my trusty Statcounter, I can see that several web surfers have ended up on my blog after a lazy Google search of their own. Some of them will be helped, like the person who searched for "Can vegans eat oreos" (yes!). Others, like a few people who recently searched for "Will Ferrell's hair," will not find out why his hair was so long on the Golden Globes the other night. Instead, they will be taken here, to the retelling of the meeting between two tall, strapping men.

To help as many Google searchers as possible, I'm starting a new feature on this blog, "I Just Realized." My hope is that I can share all the information I, as a comedy insider, have learned here in the entertainment Mecca of the east coast of America. I will be scouring the net, digging through message boards, forums, and fan sites to bring you the information you need to survive. I hope you appreciate it. And now,

I Just Realized

Marilyn Manson played the best friend of Corey Savages on Boy Meets World!

Check the credits! Marilyn Manson's real name is Rider Stong!!!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Slick Rick is Coming to Town

The master of storytelling, Slick Rick, is coming to the Knitting Factory February 9 and I'm seriously considering buying a ticket. I haven't spent more than $5 on a show since the Comedians of Comedy show at Irving Plaza, but I think this show might be worth the $$. According to the KF website, it's his first show in NYC since being released from prison. Plus, he's performing with a full band, the Adam Deitch Project. I don't know anything about them, but I saw members of Wu Tang last fall with some Brooklyn indie band (thanks to my only black friend, DJ Frequency) and it was quite the mind-blowing experience.

After re-listening to The Great Adventures of Slick Rick I realized three things.
The Streets must have done some serious studying of Slick Rick.
2) "Treat Her Like a Prostitute" is the shit.
3) I wish I could pop and lock.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Wyland's Whaling Walls

Although Hell's Kitchen is a beautiful neighborhood, it has it's seedy parts. And one of them is Port Authority. I am forced to walk by it or through it everytime I go to the UCB, when I want to wander through Duane Reade at 2 in the morning, or just need to hit up 7-11 for a Slurpee fix. But there is one part of Port Authority I look forward to seeing everytime.

The crack whores.
And also, the Wyland Whaling Wall.

For those of you not familiar with "Inner City Whales," it's a 460 feet long, 22 feet high life-size mural of whales. The artist is known by one name, Wyland.

And if his moustache doesn't clue you in on how badass he is, his murals definitely will. According to his website, his goal is to paint 100 life-size marine art murals in public places by 2008. It looks like he'll reach that goal pretty soon, because he's already painted 93 amazing walls in 70 cities throughout the United States, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Mexico, and Japan. As someone who has lived by the water my whole life, I appreciate Wyland's efforts to raise awareness of environmental conservation. I appreciate it so much that I ripped the following straight from Wyland's page:
"Take the case of "24-Hour Television" in Japan, which broadcast the creation of a Wyland mural in Sinjuku Station during a live telethon in 1990. Wyland's environmental message during the marathon painting session helped raise $70 million for conservation efforts in Japan. "

I first found out about Wyland in the summer of 1993, when Wyland came to my hometown of Norfolk, Virginia to paint “Humpbacks off the Virginia Coast." Measuring in at 280 feet long and 80 feet high, it was a massive, week-long operation that required 100+ volunteers. My mom was one of those lucky volunteers. She helped stir paint and also got to accompany Wyland on the scaffolding (not a job for acrophobes). While on the scaffolding, she acted as his assistant, handing him paint and brushes. She also relayed messages from Wyland to workers on the ground, instructing them to change the scaffolding's positioning so he could cover the wall with ease. Wyland's girlfriend was entrusted with the job of loading his boombox with the proper tape so he could remain pumped up while painting.
“Humpbacks off the Virginia Coast" (shown above) is prominently displayed on the side of a parking garage on Waterside Drive. If you're taking Interstate 264 out of town, Wyland's giant mural is the last thing you see before leaving Norfolk, serving as a constant reminder of what makes our city great -- awareness of environmental conservation, appreciation of the arts, and we have a mall. It is awesome. Not the mall, the mural. Well the mall, too. But that's neither here nor there.

"Inner City Whales" is a little less magnificent. It is hidden underneath Port Auhority in a tunnel that is closed to traffic. I still go out of my way to see it though, because it's one of few things in NYC that links me to Norfolk. The picture above was taken seconds before two police officers shut me down. Apparently in this post 9/11 world, taking pictures of federal transportation terminals is forbidden. If you want a better look at the art, you can find it in the 41st street underpass between 8th and 9th Aves.

I'll leave you with some of my favorite Wyland Walls.

Vancouver, B.C., Canada
San Diego, California
Yamagata, Japan
Kauai Village Kauai, Hawaii
Long Beach, California
Honolulu, Hawaii
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
Hagatna, Guam

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Over the break I spent a lot of time in doctors' offices.
I got my ears stitched up.
I got my wisdom teeth out, too. Here I am post codine.
I recovered in time to play with my new Winter Solstice toy:
Speed Stacks

Katie moved in on New Year's Eve.
From my roof we could see the fireworks in Times Square, Central Park, and Lower Manhattan.

We partied at the UCB.

And I learned that even dogs experience post-holiday exhaustion.